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MALE/FEMALE FRIENDS

 I was going to write on this, but Steve Harvey sums it up exactly how I would have written it, from a MAN'S point of view. Ladies, unless your male friend happens to be GAY, this observation is a fact about 99% of the time. It is another one of those things that make men and women different. ENJOY!

RED FLAGS.....DATERS BEWARE!!!

RED FLAGS when getting to know someone........

1.  Doesn't have their own place.

2.  You can never go to their place.

3.  Can never reach them after a certain time.

4.  Has kids, but never spends time with them. 

5.  Doesn't have a vehicle.

6.  Constant lies.

7.  They never answer their phone in front of you.

8.  Lack of communication.

9.  Aggressive controlling behavior. 

10.  Never introduce you to family and friends.

11.  No direction

12.  Jealous

13.  Argumentative 

14. Disrespectful to their parents. 

15. Heavy drinker and drug abuser.

16. Bad hygiene. 

 IT'S EASY TO FOOL SOMEONE,

BUT IT'S DIFFICULT TO CONVINCE SOMEONE THAT THEY HAVE BEEN FOOLED

FOOD FOR THOUGHT......

STOP TEXTING PEOPLE FIRST

 AND YOU WILL REALIZE HOW MANY DEAD PLANTS

 YOU'VE BEEN WATERING

ARE YOU WIFEY? OR JUST P#@$Y

How do you keep a man? The Ratchet answer would be to give him the best ass he’s ever had. But those who think that are single and currently figuring out what dress to wear to the club this weekend. Women who have locked down men, and I’m not talking about 6 months, I’m talking years, those women brought something to the table much more powerful than good sex.

You think you’re pretty, you think you’re smart, I bet you think you’re the most interesting woman on the planet right? But how do men view you? I’m not talking about does he turn and look when you walk by, let’s go deeper than the physical bullshit girls use as a crutch. Does he think you’re smart? Does he find you interesting? Are you classy in his mind or just another basic broad he’s ran through? Take a moment to think about the last dude you were seriously involved with. What did he like most about you? If it was something like “My smile” or “The way I rode it” you have a serious problem. Are you the type of woman he can spend all day talking to and has a connection deeper than the physical attraction or are you simply Pussy? And by Pussy I mean your only value to that man is to satisfy his physical needs. Your job is to make him cum. Pussy isn’t just the hoe or the slut, it’s also the girlfriend who we have no intention of marrying or keeping around past a year. Men love pussy, but we do not marry Pussy. A man may show Pussy off to his friends. He might buy Pussy gifts. Occasionally Pussy gets to come out of the house and get treated to dinner. Pussy even gets pregnant and becomes the Baby Mama. But he NEVER EVER marries Pussy. All men see women as Pussy initially, but after a few conversations we can decide if she’s more.

Are you the type he wifes or are you just the pussy?

Does he take you out? Stop being the drive thru hoe. Yeah he’s on hard times, his pockets aren’t built like that, but guess what? That nigga has money to buy a $59.99 PS3 game; he can scrape up a few dollars to take you to a restaurant that doesn’t have pictures on the menu. Your homgirls are single and fine dining and you’re taking Wing Stop to go, you’re not winning because you have a man, you’re losing because you have a man who keeps your dumb ass on Dracula duty, buried in the crib, only coming out when it’s time to buy condoms and Dutch masters.

Have you met his family? I’m not talking about his boys at the smoke house who he chills with and you happen to tag along. Has his mother laid eyes on you? I remember sneaking this girl into my mother’s house and she caught me. I was pissed because this girl was dumb as a brick, and my mother is nosey. My mother asked how she was doing and the bitch stood there as if she were asked to name elements from the periodic table. For years she joked me about the “retarded chinky eyed girl”. If he’s feeling you, you’ll meet the people who are most important to him. Being in the car and waving “hi” or seeing someone for a minute isn’t an introduction. Stop being smuggled hoe!

What do you talk about? “We spend all night on the phone talking, we have so much in common”, Bitch please. Do you know how many hours I’ve spent on the phone with girls who I couldn’t stand? I’ve stayed up until 6am more times than I can count, and it wasn’t because the girl was interesting, it was because I wanted what she had and was putting in work. Take away the gossip, the TV show talk, and the sexual flirting; what the fuck did I talk to you about? We both like the same colors… wow. We both randomly know Chauncey the stick up boy… incredible.  Spending twenty minutes saying “Did You Miss Me” and having a back and forth on who missed who gets played. The number one question a man wants to know, “When can I see you”. Why? Because you’re Pussy and we can’t get Pussy over the phone.

Are You Jeopardy Girl or Family Feud Girl? You’re not the brightest, you can tie your shoe and put your hair into a bun, but that’s where your genius ends. Stop pretending as if you visit CNN.com before you visit mediatakeout.com.  It’s okay to be into basic shit, but be able to put together a sentence. If I say, “So why didn’t you like Black Swan” don’t come at me with, “That was some white people shit”. That’s not a movie review, that’s a woman with poor analytical skills who tuned out as soon as she realized this wasn’t a comedy. There are more important things than who Chris Brown is fucking. If I wanted to date a woman with the life experience of a 17 year old I would have become a gym teacher or a stepfather.Stop being afraid to ask questions, research things you don’t understand, have a desire to be the best dressed at the party and the most interesting.

If a man won’t commit then he sees you as Pussy. You were in a relationship for 3 months, and he started acting funny… Did you really break up with him or did he sabotage the relationship after your Pussy expired? Yes, pussy has an expiration date. It expires exactly 3-4 months after we first hit it. The more you smash the faster it expires. It’s not milk, you can continue to hit pussy after it’s long expired, people are married and love hitting expired pussy, it still feels good. But it will never be at the height it was when it was considered new pussy. As a wise man once said, “There’s no pussy like new pussy, and that’s how a nigga feel”. Being extra freaky or dating during the winter months may buy you an extra two months of that new pussy smell, but that’s it. No matter If it lasts 4 months or 6 months, the man will show signs of cabin fever because you don’t have anything real that keeps him tied to you. This man didn’t suddenly become an asshole, that’s not the real reason you’re arguing after months of lovey dovey shit, he’s tired of your pussy and he’s ready to move on to the next girl because you don’t stimulate him mentally. Sure he may come back to hit it after the relationship is over, but no junkie stops cold turkey. The point is he’s now only using you for Pussy, and that reaffirms that from the jump he saw you as Pussy never wifey! There is no such thing as Marry Me Pussy. No matter how good you think your shot is, there has yet to be a vagina built that can make a man throw a ring on it. Personality, charm, charisma > Pussy. If you want to keep a man, not just have someone to roll around in the bed and eat lemon pepper strips with, look in the mirror and ask, “Would I want me?” It’s like a job interview, the strengths are obvious and often times exaggerated. The weaknesses, those are hard to figure out, it’s not because you don’t have any, it’s because we rarely take a serious look at what’s wrong with us. Other than stupidity which we can’t really cure, there are several things that hold men back from promoting women, but here are my top two,

Are You Boring: No one wants a girl who sits around saying “I’m bored”? If you’re a bored female, that means you are boring. I don’t care how pretty you are I don’t want to waste my time with a boring chick who always needs to be entertained by the most basic shit.  I’m bored my phone’s not ringing today. I’m bored nobody’s texting me. I’m bored nothing’s on TV. Guess what? I’m bored after fucking you for a month because all you do is seek attention. Your coochie may be wet, but your personality is dry! There are people that make things happen and there are people who complain that nothing’s happening. Which are you?

Are You Loyal: Yeah yeah you would never cheat physically, but who do you talk to besides him? Who do you flirt with besides him? Men know when a female has an active phonebook. Do you think he’s going to see you as more than a good time girl if you have dudes blowing up your phone? He can say, “cut every other dude off for me” but let’s be realistic, you have excuses to why you talk to these niggas, he’s your brother, he’s your best male friend, you work with him… the list goes on. If you’re not willing to let go of your backup dick, why should he upgrade you from the Pussy to the potential wifey?

If you are a girl who’s tired of the dating game and want something deeper than 9 inches and a text message, then it’s time to get serious and change the way men view you. When you go out on dates have something to say, push the conversation in directions you haven’t taken it before. Show him that you aren’t like the rest of these girls out here; make him feel as if you’re the type of woman he can raise children with… not drop children in. They say that beside every great man there is a great woman. History doesn’t remember women who could do it with no hands; they remember women who could do it with their brains. Stop Being Pussy, that’s how you keep a man.

**POST COURTESY OF BLACK GIRLS ARE EASY**

REMEMBER,

IF YOUR OUTPUT, IS MORE THAN YOUR INCOME....

THEN YOUR UPKEEP WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL....!!!

NOW HIRING! SIDE CHICK POSITION-BENEFITS LIMITED!!!

If you're a side chick and you marry that man, (remember!)  that side chick position is now open again...

FELLAS!!!....7 TYPES OF WOMEN NOT TO WIFE!!!

Contrary to popular opinion, there are some good men out there. Unfortunately a lot of these men are so clueless that they choose the wrong type of women. To prevent another good man from choosing a female who does not suit him, I have prepared a list of types of women to avoid wifing at all costs. She is the type who is more trouble than she's worth. Again, I am talking to the “GOOD MEN”. Feel free to add on more suggestions in the comments.

1. The Needy Chick
She is beyond normal neediness. The type who will drag a dude down and doesn't care if he succeeds or not. She will go as far as purposely getting pregnant to “secure” him in her mind. She has nothing else going on in her life that means anything to her. Therefore, YOU are her life. So much so that she will not let you breath. She needs to either be with you constantly or know your whereabouts at all times.

2. The User/ Gold Digger

This chick is on the come up and will take what she can from you. . She will move on to your friends if she sees their money is longer than yours. She's looking for a sucka! Business, never personal for her.

3. The Whorish Chick
Sex is her weapon of choice. Some men might like getting trapped in this way. However, beware of her motives behind the sexual attention she is giving. Chances are she doesn’t even like your sex, she realizes it is your weakness and is using it to get what she wants from you.

4. The Drama Queen
The one with alot of damn issues. She is the one that constantly has some type of drama going on in her life, mostly because she is causing it. She does not know how to live without some type of drama happening. She will direct this need for drama towards her significant other. That would be you.

5. The Eternal Baby Momma
She is the chick with a bunch of  kids by "different" dudes. However, for some men be weary of the responsibility, because wifing her up ultimately means being responsible for her children as well. Careful, she may be a good woman, so it might be worth the package deal.  But if you're not a "little people" person, stay clear.

6. Insanely Jealous Woman
She is jealous to the tenth power. You can't walk in the mall without being accused of staring at every woman that passes by. You will be accused of wanting everyone from her best friend to her mother. She's even threatened by "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"..Lmao. She inspects your pockets, cell phone, car, email and your underwear. Her insecurities spell "D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R".

7. The Crazy Chick
She is much worse than the drama filled chick, she completely lacks rationale and is nutty. This is the chick who will slash your tires and break all of your car windows for not answering your phone. She lays in bed at night plotting how to punish you. RUN!!!

BLUEPRINT TO KEEPING YOUR MAN HAPPY!!!

Ladies this is the blueprint to keeping your man not just satisfied, but happy. I think alot of women feel that satisfied is good enough, and that is where the problem begins. I'm "satisfied" with a turkey and swiss sandwich, but I would be "happy" with a juicy steak. Get my drift?

1.  When a man initially meets you he knows whether you will be a "jump" or someone he can see himself in a long-term relationship with. This more than anything is based on your conversation.  Good "convo" goes a long way. I think most women would agree.

2.  Keep your appearance up at all times. I know we all have our days, but remember how you looked when we met. Many women take this for granted, but that mistress is out-working you, keeping it together everyday.

3.  Ladies, ladies, ladies...You have to step up your cook game. The old saying has never been more true, "the way to a man's heart, is thru his stomach". If you can't cook, take classes, call big mama. I know men that will leave home to get a meal from elsewhere. Just to get a good HOME-COOKED meal. May not even have sex with that person. Which brings me to my next point.

4.  Sex! Your man has to have everything in a sex partner at home. I MEAN EVERYTHING! So if you're not willing to go all out, you should let him know upfront, because it will be an issue down the road. No matter what you've heard, men want to be "freaked". Think about it like this, your man should look forward to coming home after work, not happy hour with the boys.

5.  Communication. Can he win an argument sometimes? He does want to feel like what he brings to the table holds a little weight. Let him win the debates every now and then. What i'm saying is choose your battles wisely. The most annoying thing to a man is a "nag" and in-laws. Lol. Men hate in-laws. Not necessarily the mother or father, but in-laws in general. Keep your family at a distance.

See, men are not that complicated....A list of 5 simple things to keep that special man "happy", because remember, if he is just "satisfied" with you, he will go elsewhere for "happy".

***Tip.....If the man you're with doesn't deserve these things....(whisper) YOU'RE WITH THE WRONG MAN!

HOW IMPORTANT IS PHYSICAL ATTRACTION?

Ok, you always hear looks aren't everything. Is this a true statement? Although looks may not be EVERYTHING, we all have that one thing that attracts us to the opposite sex, or sometimes even the same sex. How you doin? I must admit I am a prisoner of  physical attraction. I think we all are guilty of desiring an attractive mate. I've heard some women say they only date ugly men because they don't have to worry about other women talking to their man. Ladies, that only works for women. Men will talk to anything! Lol. The saying goes "looks fade".  What do you look for in a mate? Honestly!

CONTROL YOUR OWN DESTINY

IF YOU ALLOW THEM TO FEED YOU....YOU ALSO ALLOW THEM TO STARVE YOU...!!!

IF YOU NEVER HEAL FROM WHAT HURT YOU, 

YOU'LL BLEED ON PEOPLE THAT DIDN'T CUT YOU.

"BEHIND CLOSED DOORS"...Pleasing Her

Men, what i'm about to share with you is priceless, and should come with a fee, but this one's on me.

Now just because you have an erection, doesn't mean its time to get busy. WOMEN NEED FOREPLAY TOO! They need good blood flow just like you. A decrease in blood flow can diminish her sexual response.

First of all, every woman has a treasure chest inside of  her, that most men don't even know exists. Check this out, it's usually a non-body part. It could be her intellect, her wild side or maybe her sense of humor. A wise man once said, "make her laugh, that's half the battle". When a man discovers this, and comes to appreciate and love that part of her, he gets the girl emotionally and sexually. That's when she feels she's being loved completely. Tip: If you're not sure whats in her treasure chest, listen carefully the next time she's around her family. Notice the compliments that make her sparkle.

Only 20 to 30 percent of women reach orgasm through penetration alone. Face it, for some women "digging her back out" is just not gonna do it all the time. Some women need to be really excited. Slow down and put in some work. Think VENIS; Very Erotic NonInsertive Sex.

Try stimulating her without the sexual contact. Maybe washing her hair, a massage with warm oil, gently touch her face while looking into her eyes, and give her the most passionate kiss of her life. Cuddle and run your fingers through her hair. Feel with feeling.

The clitoris has almost double the nerve endings than a penis, so obviously it needs lots of attention. Some women like direct stimulation of their clitoris, others prefer the area around it.  Find what turns her on and look for different ways to hit that switch every time. One of the biggest misconceptions, men assume that an orgasm is the end all-be all for women. Not the case. Faking orgasms is so wide spread because of the importance MEN attach to an orgasm. Research says seventy five percent of women have faked it! Just to stroke the male ego. No pun intended.

Women experience 3 different type of orgasms. Clitoral (the one most men focus on) which results from direct stimulation of the clitoris and surrounding tissue. Pelvic floor orgasms stem from much further down and involves vaginal and uterine contractions triggered by deep penetration (that deeper, deeper moan). Then there's the blended orgasm (the full body) the ultimate, which contains the elements of both.

Men remember this!!!....Men feel intimate as a result of being sexual. Women feel sexual as a result of being intimate.

THE 10 ELEMENTS OF A SOULMATE

The 10 Elements of a Soulmate:

1. It's something inside. Describing how a soulmate makes you feel is difficult. It's a tenacious, profound and lingering emotion which no words can encompass.

2. Flashbacks. If your partner is your soulmate, chances are he or she has been present in your past lives. Soulmates often choose to come back together during the same lifetime and scope each other out in the big world. You might suddenly and briefly experience flashbacks of your soulmate. You might even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting.

3. You just get each other. Ever met two people who finsh each other's sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but I call it a soulmate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your mother, but it is the telltale sign of a soulmate when you experience it with your partner.

4. You fall in love with his (or her) flaws. No relationship is perfect, and even soulmate relationships will experience ups and downs. Still, that bond will be much harder to break. Soulmates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each other's imperfections. Your relationship is more likely to be a soulmate match if you both love each other exactly as you each are, accepting both the great and awful tendencies we all have.

5. It's intense. A soulmate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and sometimes bad ways. The most important thing is that, even during negative episodes, you're focused on resolving the problem and can see beyond the bad moment.

6. You two against the world. Soulmates often see their relationship as "us against the world." They feel so linked together that they're ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they have their soulmate by their side. Soulmate relationships are founded on compromise and unity above all else.

7. You're mentally inseparable. Soulmates often have a mental connection similar to twins. They might pick up the phone to call each other at the exact same time. Though life may keep you apart at times, your minds will always be in tune if you are soulmates.

8. You feel secure and protected. Regardless of the gender of your partner, he or she should always make you feel secure and protected. This means that if you're a man, yes, your woman should make you feel protected, too! Your soulmate will make you feel like you have a guardian angel by your side. A person who plays on your insecurities, whether consciously or subconsciously, is not your soulmate.

9. You can't imagine your life without him (or her). A soulmate is not someone you can walk away from that easily. It is someone you can't imagine being without, a person you believe is worth sticking with and fighting for.

10. You look each other in the eye. Soulmates have a tendency to look into each other's eyes when speaking more often than ordinary couples. It comes naturally from the deep-seated connection between them. Looking a person in the eye when speaking denotes a high level of comfort and confidence.

Whether you're designed by the universe to be soulmates or two loving people who have settled for each other's strengths and weaknesses, the decision is yours. The beauty of free will is that you can remain in or change any relationship as you see fit. To be with your soulmate is one of the precious treasures of life. And if you feel you've found your heart's other half, I wish you endless days of joy and laughter, and countless nights of deep embrace, unraveling the mysteries of the universe one by one.

HOW TO SPEAK WOMANESE